


fly high, my love, fly high

by yolrin



Series: course material to your wonders [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Kinda, M/M, not really but idk what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28408584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yolrin/pseuds/yolrin
Summary: Some bonds are special, some bonds are cursed. Some bonds are both.Seungmin and Jisung are just stuck in the between, and sometimes we need to learn to let go.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Kim Seungmin
Series: course material to your wonders [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179290
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30
Collections: SKZ Secret Santa 2020





	fly high, my love, fly high

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sprbs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprbs/gifts).



> For SKZ Santa 2020
> 
> Dear recipient:  
> I'm sorry this is coming a little late and I don't think I've written the Fantasy trope the way you wanted it, but I still hope you enjoy it !!

The sky is gloomy as grey clouds hang low and dark above the mountains in the horizon, Seungmin sighs as he looks out his window. Today was supposed to be a good day, the sun was supposed to shine bright and high as they trekked the meadows below the Orange mountains. The fucking Orange mountains. 

"It's because of the sodding idiot", he grumbles under his breath. Jeongin must have heard him because he snickers from behind. 

"Didn't he have a crush on you?," Felix asks, because Felix always asks questions he already knows the answer to. Hyunjin giggles at that. And Seungmin turns around to throw his cushion at Hyunjin because they've been teasing him about this for two years and they still won't let it go.

"Oh, shut up. I heard he was snogging girls in the abandoned washrooms on the 3rd floor of the Godlem Tower." Seungmin finds himself saying before he can think. He's annoyed. He hasn't been this annoyed in a while. Jisung has been kissing girls. Again. Whilst his perfumed letters sit prettily inside Seungmin's drawer. What an asshole.

"Why and how would you know that, may I ask? You almost sound jealous." Hyunjin is still giggling and Seungmin wants to choke him, Felix looks at him with worried eyes from Jeongin's bed. Seungmin smiles tightly at him.

"I know that because I have eyes. And ears." Truthfully, Seungmin is angry right now. Angry at the sky, angry at Hyunjin, angry at Jisung, angry at himself.

He gets up to leave the room, it's too suffocating inside these stone walls: cold, damp and suffocating. Especially on wet days like this. And the sight of Hyunjin lounging shamelessly on his own bed while he laughs at Seungmin burns something under his skin. He knows Hyunjin means no harm, this is how their friendship is. But he's been sensitive lately. And the trip to the meadows was supposed to help him unload. He had checked the weather forecast through a new spell he learnt recently and it had said there would be clear skies. But of course, Han Jisung of all people had to fuck it up. Seungmin swears he's trying his best to try to look at the positives, just like Felix told him to. But the sky is so dark and the castle is so moist and not in a good way, it's unsettling the embers in his soul. He needs something drier, warmer. Maybe he should have joined Hyunjin on the bed instead of leaving the room, his moon touches soothe his nerves a lot. But instead he's here, in front of the lake, sitting on the wooden bench still wet from the rain. It's late in the afternoon. There's no one around, and he needs to breathe. It rained all day and he was cooped up inside the room all day. It's a relief to be out again. 

Seungmin closes his eyes. He needs this. That is why he is here. No other reason.

He takes a deep breath in, and that's when he registers footsteps walking up to him through the gravelly lakeside. Good. He needs someone to be angry at.

"Did you come looking for me?," he asks, looking all smug and proud, as he takes a seat beside Seungmin. Seungmin makes a point to visibly shift further towards one end of the bench to increase their distance.

"Jisung, what did you do again?," Seungmin asks, clearly irritated but more exasperated. He's tired of Jisung and his games. Stupid Jisung, stupid games.

"I missed you and knew you would come by if you were angry with me," Jisung says that almost shyly as if he's admitting something for the first time. But the truth is Seungmin has embers in his soul and even though he hasn't mastered the art yet, at least for dear ones, he can easily tell when a lie is being told. Jisung is not a dear one, but both of them have spent enough time together for his embers to know, even though Jisung is a good actor. And that angers Seungmin more, that he can't even be afforded the truth.

"Did you know I had plans today?," Seungmin asks, he's trying to keep his voice calm and low, but his anger seeps through and Jisung seems to notice. 

"I didn't, I'm sorry." Seungmin knows Jisung is truly apologetic because he can sense it in his embers, but suddenly he wants to cry. Jisung never means it, but he always spoils his day. Today could have been a good day, his embers have been begging for the meadows for weeks and now, with the cold and damp, Seungmin can feel his embers slowly fading and he's afraid. He hasn't told anyone but he's truly afraid. He's going to lose his true magic this way.

"You're so cool, Jisung," Seungmin begins, and his voice is shaking. He hates it. "You're so cool, please stop ruining my life." And Seungmin feels tears threaten to fall from his eyes so he rubs at them harshly with his sweater. Jisung seems surprised by the breakdown.

"I'm sorry," he says again, because truly, that's all Jisung can give him. He's cursed. It's not his fault.

"Please stop sending me letters", Seungmin says after a long moment of sniffling and silence. Seungmin has never said this to Jisung, but whenever Jisung is sad, he feels it in his chest too.

That's how soulmate bonds work, he supposes. And it's sad that it's come to this, but Jisung nods anyway.

Seungmin feels sorry for Jisung, and he feels sorry for himself but sometimes it just doesn't work out and that's okay.

When he's back in his room, Hyunjin is still on his bed using some device from another dimension. Seungmin doesn't travel dimensions much, he doesn't feel the need to. Everything he needs is here. 

The room is dark and Hyunjin hasn't bothered to turn the lights on, and Seungmin doesn't bother either. Jeongin's bed is empty, neither Felix nor Jeongin in the room. Seungmin plops down next to Hyunjin.

"When are you going to give me my bed back?," Seungmin whines, because he needs a little trivial playfulness right now, all his anger from earlier gone and replaced with solemn sadness. 

Jisung will be back in a few days, he always is. But this time, Jisung hadn't even bothered trying to disagree. 

"He's not that bad, you know. He's pretty cool." And Seungmin laughs, because that was what he had told Jisung.

"I'm sure he's nice." It's easy to talk to Hyunjin, it's always been easy to talk to Hyunjin. If only Hyunjin had been his soulmate instead. It would have been so easy. Seungmin has spent his teenage years working through a bad case of crush on his best friend, he sure as hell wouldn't have minded waking up to find out Hyunjin was his soulmate.

"He was so fucking weird when we were younger. Remember? He once tried to give us all live fish for Christmas. It was so crazy." Seungmin smiles at that. He remembers.

"I also remember when he tried to tell you that he thought you were cool by buying you a cactus, you didn't even speak to each other then." Hyunjin laughs. Hyunjin laughs easily, and it's so easy and nice to laugh along with him. Hyunjin wraps an arm around his middle and laughs into his chest.

"He was a sweet kid," Hyunjin tells finally, the moon now shining through the open window, remnants of laughter buzzing through Seungmin's embers, "I remember how much he cried when he found out about his soulmate curse." 

Seungmin doesn't want to think about it, so he takes the easier route. "A sweet kid? You ran away from him after that for weeks."

And Hyunjin laughs again. "I was eleven. I didn't talk to the kid and he brought me a fucking cactus, of course I ran away." Hyunjin accepts his easy routes, and Seungmin guesses this is why it's nice with Hyunjin. With Jisung, the easy route is never even an option.

They'll be leaving the castle grounds in a month, and Seungmin guesses before they all part their ways, the last thing Seungmin can do for Jisung is write back to his letters.

" _ Dear Seungmin,  _

_ The skies are so blue today. I hope you're having a good day _ ." 

This one is from years ago, one of the shorter ones - the ones closer to notes, than actual letters. The ones Seungmin had hastily shoved inside his cupboard with a blush on his cheeks. He had never been sent letters before and Jisung, though a little weird, was a cute guy. 

" _ Seungmin,  _

_ I know you told me you don't want to get coffee with me, but can I continue the letters? Let me know if you want me to stop.  _

_ I know it's a little weird ever since we found out that we're soulmates. But it can't be that bad right? You've stopped smiling at me.  _

_ And like you asked, I swear I won't let anyone know.  _

_ Again, I'm sorry for hurting you the other day. I didn't mean to _ ."

Seungmin sighs. He remembers the pain very well. It had reached his bones and seeped to his embers, he could feel his embers dying out on the contact. It was a pain he never wanted to experience again, but he had. Because he was stupid. And he wanted to try. For Jisung's sake. And for his own sake.

Soulmates weren't always your lovers. Sometimes they were your friends, sometimes family, sometimes the lady down by the street. But soulmates were each other's complete pieces. Seungmin grew up listening to stories of soulmates, dreaming of meeting his own soulmate. But here he ended with a soulmate whose touch could only give him pain, whose true magic contradicted his own and the universe conspired to make it work in such a way that even his good days were stolen from him by his soulmate. It's sad, Seungmin thinks. He'll never hold his soulmate's hand or feel his soulmate's hug.

It's such a shame.

" _ Jisung,  _

_ There's so much I want to say to you. I don't know how to begin. _

_ How long has it been since I last wrote back? _

_ I'm sorry.  _

_ It's always you who say that to me. But I am sorry too. I truly am. I often forget how hard it must be for you to bear the burden of this curse, and that just like me, and everyone else, you probably imagined meeting your soulmate too. I know it isn't my fault but I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you. I hope you know it isn't your fault either. _

_ I'm hard to deal with, right? Thank you for dealing with me. _

_ You're a good friend, Jisung. I don't know if we can call each other friends but you were always kind to me. I'm sorry for being angry, for being the spiteful thirteen year old I was when I left you to deal with the fear all alone. I was scared too, I thought I'd lose my embers, and when you wrote to me I was so terrified I threw them away and I'm sorry you saw that. It's been so long, you might be wondering why I'm bringing this up now. But I wanted you to know that I'm genuinely sorry. For everything I've done. _

_ We're older now, and I understand now that neither of us will get what we wanted when we were younger. But that's okay, right? We'll do okay, I know you will. I'm cheering you on. _

_ I still want to try and hold your hand. It's an urge, and I find myself needlessly hating you on rainy days and then I get angry at myself for being like this. It's a constant push and pull, and through everything you had to deal with, I'm sorry I couldn't be a friend, a pillar. _

_ I'm sorry that when I have wild thoughts, you can't sleep. I'm sorry for the times you had to sit by me as I figured my thoughts out. And I'm sorry for the times I couldn't sleep as well because of your thoughts and all I did was send you a text. _

_ I'm sorry the thirteen year old me took away the joy of announcing your soulmate to the world from you. I'm sorry for everything. And it's sad, that's all I can give to you. My apologies. _

_ But wherever you will be, I wish you the best. Fly high, Jisung, fly high. Just like you were always meant to _ ." 


End file.
